Thursday, August 11, 2011

Silence



It's a pretty big deal.

For a word that means absence of sound, it can be pretty loud. It can be relaxing, or it can be terrifying. I am starting to fully understand why they call the submarine force "The Silent Service". Yes, I know the one of the main reasons is OPSEC, and another is because most of the time, they don't even know where they are going or what they are going to do. Also, silence is a big deal when an enemy is near. I'm getting my first taste of the silence as a submariner's wife, and it is good preparation for what's coming next. I have not heard Ronnie's voice in well over a week, and it will be much longer than that until I get the phone call from him saying they are home. I have not opened my inbox and had a new email from him since Sunday, but with the delay in the service, it could have been written days before that.

Silence has a whole new meaning to me now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm just reflecting. I'm remembering the days when I freaked out if I didn't get to have a 5 minute phone conversation with him. This is taking some getting used to, and I know I am going to have to go even longer amounts of time without hearing from him. So far, the longest we have gone without speaking was bootcamp. The longest I went without a letter from him was maybe a week and a half, and that was also during bootcamp. But this is SO much different! It's a different silence.

This underway has been pretty eventful, but not at all! I went, by myself for the first time, to the baby appointment.  I came home from that to find the garage door, which I made sure I watched it close before I pulled away, standing wide open. That was interesting! Now that I think about it, what I did was probably stupid. I went in with my pepper spray ready to spray, got the gun we keep down stairs and went through every room AND closet in the house. Nobody was there (probably good, if I was a burglar, a pregnant lady with a 45 pointed at me would make me poop my pants and never want to even steal the covers) and nothing was missing, but it was so creepy! I literally just wanted to sit down and cry, but I didn't because that would have solved nothing. It would have been so different if Ronnie would have been coming home from work in a few hours, that first night was rough.

I have been hanging out with our friends, and swimming laps! I went to the FRG meeting last night too, I was pretty hesitant about getting involved, but I have met some really amazing women and I'm glad I have them to go through this with. There are so many young children and new babies on our boat too, so now I have that source of support also! Last night the power went out, again, more silence. I have never been alone during a power outage before, it happens pretty often in out neighborhood, so I'm sure it wont be the last. The last time it went out Ronnie and I went to bed early and listened to the radio and just talked. I was really missing him last night! Tomorrow I'm heading home for a few days, I am so happy I can do that! I get to register the car while I'm there, yay Arizona MVD. Hopefully, it helps the days pass a little faster.

Right now I'm going to enjoy the silence...and get some sleep.
-Kristin

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